Grievous Bodily Harm

The third match in BG East's Ringwars 22 (currently viewable on demand at The Arena @BGEast) features two veteran badasses battling over who most deserves the title of "Dick." Jobe "The Centerpiece" Zander, mouthy master of raunchy ring wrestling, takes on cold-as-ice Dick Rick, one of the meanest, no-nonsense ring assassins in the business. Jobe picks the fight. Dick finishes it. That pretty much sums up this match, but tells us nothing about its down-and-dirty tone. This is the sort of sweaty God-forgives-but-I-don't matches I remember from the seventies. I thought they didn't make these kinds of fights anymore, but every now and then, there it is again! Thank goodness, since it gives us a break from the all-promo, three-ring hype-fest that mainstream TV wrestling has become.

At first Dick offers to back down, apparently willing to quit the contest before it has begun (though in a manner that never quite rings true to my ears--it's just not the Dick Rick I've seen in other matches). Jobe won't take no for an answer and attacks Dick from behind and serves up a prolonged and savage beatdown but comes up with nothing but two-counts off his tough-as-nails opponent. All Dick needs is a window of opportunity, though, and Zander's suddenly sorry he ever picked this guy to mess with. Too late. Payback is a bitch best served cold, and Jobe might as well kiss his ass goodbye because today Rick has ice water in his veins and he's in no mood to forgive ... or even stop when the score is even. Once certain lines are crossed, enough is never enough.